Hand-Me-Down Paganism
I love this article. I know that my early endeavors to keep from pressuring my child have just left a void that has left my oldest in a state of confusion, as she sees and hears about all of the things her Christian friends do. Like any void, it longs to be filled, and here in the Bible Belt, it's far too easy for it to be filled with the very things I don't want my child to think.
For a long time, my child wanted to know WHY we weren't Christian like all of her friends, and are we going to go to a church? Granted, this is mostly born of her desire to go to the fun little children'c activities and playgrounds at the churches, but then, those are also the things Christians use to teach their children about their religion.
My oldest tends to have a more mature way of thinking about serious things, so she wasn't content with a simple "because we aren't," in response to "why?" So I had to do what I really didn't want to do in the first place. I had to tell her exactly why we weren't Christian. I had to explain that we didn't like the way Christians were expected to believe and behave, and that we didn't agree with many of the beliefs they have about people of different religions or girls who love and want to marry girls, and boys who love and want to marry other boys. She would grill us for details and examples, and would be content with nothing less.
I realize now that leaving your child a "clean slate" is like freshly poured cement. It's far too easy for someone to just come along and make their mark, or even for random events to leave unintentional impressions. The only way to keep that slate clean is to keep it guarded and sheltered, and even if you manage to keep it unmarred by the outside world, you just might find that it has hardened beyond the point of anything making an impression at all.
For a long time, my child wanted to know WHY we weren't Christian like all of her friends, and are we going to go to a church? Granted, this is mostly born of her desire to go to the fun little children'c activities and playgrounds at the churches, but then, those are also the things Christians use to teach their children about their religion.
My oldest tends to have a more mature way of thinking about serious things, so she wasn't content with a simple "because we aren't," in response to "why?" So I had to do what I really didn't want to do in the first place. I had to tell her exactly why we weren't Christian. I had to explain that we didn't like the way Christians were expected to believe and behave, and that we didn't agree with many of the beliefs they have about people of different religions or girls who love and want to marry girls, and boys who love and want to marry other boys. She would grill us for details and examples, and would be content with nothing less.
I realize now that leaving your child a "clean slate" is like freshly poured cement. It's far too easy for someone to just come along and make their mark, or even for random events to leave unintentional impressions. The only way to keep that slate clean is to keep it guarded and sheltered, and even if you manage to keep it unmarred by the outside world, you just might find that it has hardened beyond the point of anything making an impression at all.
