Let me start by saying that I understand that our schools are shamefully underfunded. However, since the 2009-2010 school year, I have been bombarded with a nearly endless cycle of fundraisers. School started in August, yet we've already had 2. That's not including picture day and Scholastic Book sales. My main concern is not so much the fundraisers themselves, but the kind of message it sends to my child.
First off, I know the reward system for reaching certain goals has been in use for a long time. I dealt with it myself. Having had both perspectives, as a student and as a parent, I don't think this is a very positive system. Individual, or even a class reward, puts the onus on the children to either make the quota or be shamed. If it's a class reward, the students who can't bring in enough, and cause their class to lose out on a party or movie or other prize, are a target of resentment from other kids who could sell enough. I know this first hand.
Now, I don't think there's anything wrong with competition in regards to academic achievement, or getting coveted positions in extracurricular activities like plays or sports. The real world is full of competition, and kids need to learn how they want to handle that. That kind of competition is healthy at that age. It teaches them that they have to work hard to get where they want to in life. Challenge her to be rewarded for academic accomplishment, instead of essentially putting her to work for commission. My kid is there to learn, not to be a salesman.
In the current economic climate, many kids have no one to sell to. My family is one such example. There is no one I or my husband could send a single one of those cards to. All of our family and friends either have young family members in school who are also selling things, or are not in a position, financially, to purchase anything. These days, many parents can't even bring fundraisers to their workplaces, as it is either against company policy, or could possibly jeopardize their job.
The effect on my child and her fellow students isn't my only complaint. The tactics being used are also unfair to us parents. How do you think I feel, when I have to tell my child that we are just too poor to participate? I have to look her in the eye, time after time, and in her interpretation tell her I must not care enough about her or her school. I have to send her to school knowing she'll have to watch other kids get prizes she can't, because we just don't have the money. It makes it seem even more cruel to me, in regards to my daughter, because she has the soul of a business woman. She is the kind of kid who could have her own business, if I only had the finances to help her with that dream. The only obstacle standing between her and a prize are my husband and I.
Then there is the blatant guilt trip inherent in those stickers you stick on my kid before she comes home from school. What you are doing there is especially cruel. I see those and my heart sinks. Right at the end of her day, you give her this giant sticker, getting her hopes up that we might go out to eat at Pizza Hut or Sonic. Then she comes home and I have to tell her we can't afford to, every time. Again and again I am forced to remind my child that we are poor. You set her up and I'm the one who gets to knock her down. I get to watch her face fall, her smile disappear. I am faced with her questions as to why WE don't have the money for these things, when "all of her friends do." She has even asked me, and I quote, "don't you care about my school?"
Lastly, there are the art projects the kids do, that we can get put on mugs or shirts or other things like that. The days I've had to tell my daughter we couldn't get anything with her picture on it, AND we have to give back her art work, are two of the lowest days in all of the time I've been a mom. To a young child, it's all but saying their art is ugly, and maybe mommy doesn't care enough to want this picture they worked so hard on.
There has to be a better way. Instead of offering stores the option to sell things through my child in return for a cut of the proceeds, how about asking for donations? I know many of the big box stores like Lowe's have things like paint that was returned because someone didn't like the color, or bags of mulch that either get sold at a discount or trashed, because the bag was broken. Maybe they would be willing to donate those things to the school to paint classrooms or mulch flower beds or the playground? The company my husband works for dedicates a certain amount of time every year towards community service projects. I bet many companies would be willing to do that, if someone thought to ask. What about having people who have to serve community service for things like DUIs serve their time helping the school? The kids could bring in Box Tops for Education. They could do it anonymously, no competition involved.
Even better, why not take the opportunity to make it an educational experience for students? There are government grants for all sorts of things, like energy efficiency and other 'green' ventures. Or, have kids collect recyclables, which can be redeemed for cash. While they do this, have a graph to hang in the gym to show them how much money they've helped the school earn. Then they aren't being salesmen.
The reward of this kind of fundraising is much more valuable than a cheap plastic FM radio that will probably break before the week is out. Prizes just encourage kids to only see the world from an egocentric point of view. They're participating in the fundraiser solely because it will get them something. The students are pitted against each other in a competition to see who is better. That is the kind of thing that leads to kids being labeled and bullied. Make the kids work together, so that they learn that they are part of a community, and that they can make the world a better place through their actions. They should learn that not all rewards are tangible prizes. Sometimes the reward is being able to feel good about themselves and feeling empowered because they could help. No child has to feel embarrassed, because everyone can contribute in some way, no matter how big or small that contribution is. Their value doesn't hinge on things beyond their control, like their economic class, or whether or not they have family or friends who can buy things. Maybe then we'll have a generation of kids who feel a sense of responsibility for their peers and their world, instead of the current trend of kids who think the world owes them.
