A bit of hindsight on my experience as a pagan parent.

Here is a great article about raising children in a pagan family.

Hand-Me-Down Paganism

I love this article. I know that my early endeavors to keep from pressuring my child have just left a void that has left my oldest in a state of confusion, as she sees and hears about all of the things her Christian friends do. Like any void, it longs to be filled, and here in the Bible Belt, it's far too easy for it to be filled with the very things I don't want my child to think.

For a long time, my child wanted to know WHY we weren't Christian like all of her friends, and are we going to go to a church? Granted, this is mostly born of her desire to go to the fun little children'c activities and playgrounds at the churches, but then, those are also the things Christians use to teach their children about their religion.

My oldest tends to have a more mature way of thinking about serious things, so she wasn't content with a simple "because we aren't," in response to "why?" So I had to do what I really didn't want to do in the first place. I had to tell her exactly why we weren't Christian. I had to explain that we didn't like the way Christians were expected to believe and behave, and that we didn't agree with many of the beliefs they have about people of different religions or girls who love and want to marry girls, and boys who love and want to marry other boys. She would grill us for details and examples, and would be content with nothing less.

I realize now that leaving your child a "clean slate" is like freshly poured cement. It's far too easy for someone to just come along and make their mark, or even for random events to leave unintentional impressions. The only way to keep that slate clean is to keep it guarded and sheltered, and even if you manage to keep it unmarred by the outside world, you just might find that it has hardened beyond the point of anything making an impression at all.

Who cares if St. Patrick was Christian?

Ah, St. Patrick's Day. A day where many of my FB friends are posting their anticipation of a great time drinking green beer and bar hopping. Today, everyone is Irish :)

But wait, what's this dark cloud raining on the St. Patrick's Day parade? Ugh, it's ANOTHER religious bitch-fest. Yes, my pagan friends, you are right about the myths of St. Patrick's Day. There were no snakes, St. Patrick converted the pagans, yada-yada-yada. Well, guess what, there is another holiday people get pissy about, because of it's history and religious connections. In a little more than 6 months it will be Halloween, and I'll get to see the same things posted all over again, but from the opposing viewpoint.

Really though, what is the point of all of this anger and protesting? How does saying “I refuse to go out and have a good time, because of the religious roots of this holiday?” It's not like you have to go to Mass in order to go get drunk today, just as it's not a requirement that kids go to a pagan solstice ritual before trick-or-treating. There is no cosmic score keeper, counting up the number of people enjoying the festivities of either holiday. The Christians aren't “winning” anything if you decide to go out and party today. Your children aren't going to go to hell because they dressed up in costumes and asked their neighbors for candy on the last day of October.

So, to any of my friends who get their panties in a bunch over either holiday, lighten up and just go have fun. Have a safe and Happy St. Patrick's Day.

For my TN friends, if you find yourself in need of a sober driver, call 615-862-RIDE for a free ride.

What the Founding Fathers intended?

Ah, another sore spot for me. Another blog just reminded me of the asinine attempt to restrict freedom of religion because, evidently, the Founding Fathers intended us to be a Christian country. While I can agree that maybe they never imagined a country that contained as much religious diversity as we do today, I doubt that they intended America to be an exclusively Christian country. Of course, none of us today can state with authority what the Founding Fathers were thinking, unless the have verified written documents, like a journal that belonged to Benjamin Franklin. That's beside the point, however. Here is the First Amendment, exaclty as it was written:

Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the Government for a redress of grievances.

Right there, plain as day. The government shall not establish any specific religion, or prohibit a religion. Even if the Founding Fathers DID intend for us to be a Christian nation, their own words clearly prohibit it. Considering this is the very first Amendment in the Constitution, that argues that they must have felt very strongly about this issue, and thought long and hard about the wording. Considering how many people were considered the Founding Fathers, if they truly wanted to limit religion to Christian based religions, I think that would have been spelled out.

The Constitution is there to make sure everyone has a chance to live in safety and happiness. One person's safety and happiness cannot come at another person's expense. My choice to be pagan may upset some people, but no one has the right to prohibit me from being pagan. They do have the right to prohibit me from committing a crime against another in the name of my religion. It would be a crime if my actions, in the name of religion or not, were destructive. Moral or philosophical differences don't apply.

To some, no matter what I do, unless it's in the name of God or Jesus, I'm going to Hell. That is all the punishment necessary for my supposed crime. Let your God handle that when it is time. According to Christian beliefs, that is all you are supposed to do. Honestly, I am not afraid. I don't think God cares how He is viewed, or how I go about my religious practices, as long as I do it with the intent to be a good person doing good things. I cannot believe in my heart that a being so profound as a god cares whether I picture Him with boobs, or a penis, or genderless, or even non-human. Why should he care what face or name I put on Him, and whether or not that face and name is the same in every situation? Why should it matter if I make my divine requests with herbs and candles and respect to the Earth and elements, or kneeling in a church?

Anyway, I digress. No ones soul should be subject to mortal jurisdiction, no matter what the religion. That is for whatever divinity is out there to decide, and if there is no divinity at all, then the subject is moot.

Is a witch really a witch?

I think in part there is massive confusion on both sides, pagan and non-pagan, about the whole issue of "witches." I won't claim this as fact, since I can't remember the source, but I believe originally pagans weren't called witches. The term was adopted after Christianity started it's crusade of conversion. Then, with the dawn of the New Age, it kinda just slipped into use as a label when fledgling pagans started self-teaching through the early books.

Yet, for us to call ourselves witches is somewhat akin to a black person to describe themselves casually as, well, a derogatory term I won't use. Or when women play around and call each other bitches. We can use a negative term and say we don't see it as derogatory, but in the end it doesn't matter what we think. What matters is what other people think when they hear it.

So, while we're getting frustrated with having crimes and stupidity being labeled as "witchcraft," most people aren't really looking at it and correlating it with real paganism and Wicca. The problem is not so much in the truth about what we practice, as it is image called forth by the label. When my mom explains her religion to new friends, co-workers, etc., she calls herself a witch. Of course, this causes reactions of shock, panic and/or fear. Then she has to try to explain what that really means while these people are looking at her like a veil has lifted from their eyes and all they see are warts and green skin. She can talk and explain all she wants, but the part of their brains that might be receptive to understanding what she really is has shut down. It's not just a problem of those people refusing to believe anything other than what they've been taught. It's the mental/chemical reaction to shock and fear. My mom's battle is an uphill one, because she is starting the conversation off on the defensive.

That's one of the reasons why I don't describe myself as a witch. I'm very open about my religion, though no longer as "in-your-face" as I was in high school. When people ask, I usually just tell them I'm pagan. Unless they are hard-core Christians, the general reaction is one of confusion and curiosity. This makes my battle the downhill one. I go on to explain, depending on how close my relationship is to the questioner. A random person at the grocery store asking about my pentacle will get something along the lines of "It's basically an earth based religion. Think tree-hugging hippy. We respect nature and life, and are polytheistic." The tree-hugging hippy part is just to give the mildly curious an easy reference they can be comfortable with.

Closer people, like my children's friends parents, will probably have more questions and I go into greater detail. I explain how magic is pretty much a prayer with tools. It's similar to lighting candles in the Catholic religion. It's just a more complicated way of asking my gods for help for myself or others. Minor deities are like the Patron Saints.

Usually from there I have to explain how I am NOT a witch, at least in the sense that they know it. I tell them it's very little like the movie "The Craft." I'm not evil. I don't slaughter goats or chickens. I don't do spells to force people to fall in love with me, or make someone's hair fall out. I wish I could just do a spell and make the huge scar on my back from surgery disappear, or win the lottery, but it doesn't work that way. Stuff like that is actually completely against my religion. Then I explain briefly about the Wiccan Rede, and how it's basically our Ten Commandments.

I may tell them that some people call themselves witches, it just depends on personal preference. I can let them know that the stories about people doing bad things and calling themselves witches are either confused kids or seriously deluded individuals who don't know what true paganism is. Just as there are groups of people who call themselves Christians, yet act in a totally un-Christian-like manner (Westboro Baptist Church for example, ) there are people who claim to be witches who definitely don't behave like one.

If someone is more curious than that, I'll explain any specific questions I can, and point them in the direction of some good books.

So, while my mother's battle is uphill, mine is downhill. Whoever I'm talking to can direct the conversation, and absorb the info at their own pace. Their brain is not shielding themselves in fear, but opening them in curiosity. I'm not fighting against their negative opinion of what a witch is, but informing them about what a pagan is.

I'm not saying pagans shouldn't call themselves witches if that's the term they want to use. I'm just saying that maybe we shouldn't be surprised by how people react to it.